Former Gifted Kid Syndrome

Were you a “gifted kid” growing up? School came easily to you, maybe you were in the Gifted and Talented program. You got straight A’s without studying, and were always seen as the “smart” one. Then, at some point in college or after graduation, things fell apart.

So what happened?

Being a gifted kid isn’t inherently traumatic—but the pressure, perfectionism, and praise for your “potential” can turn into a real mess later on.

A lot of former gifted kids grow up believing:

• If I’m not exceptional, I’m failing.

• If it doesn’t come easily, it’s not worth doing.

• If I can’t do it perfectly, why bother at all?

What I see happen when people come to me for therapy is that the tightly structured school environment that kept you organized and on track is gone. The home environment where other people are grocery shopping, keeping laundry going, and setting meal times is gone. The support system that kept things moving along is now hours or states away, and you find yourself unable to do “adult” things and feeling like a failure.

Then “real” adulthood comes along and really kicks the scaffolding out from under you. Now you’re juggling work, bills, relationships, and figuring out what “success” even means. We get to career-level jobs and there’s no longer achievements to constantly work for and measure our success by. We’re working alongside other high achievers, as well as average achievers, and wondering if it all really mattered at all. Shouldn’t I be doing something amazing with all my potential? This feeling can compound with lifelong perfectionism and lead to gnawing anxiety that has no easy solution.

It might not just be anxiety. It could be undiagnosed ADHD.

Here’s something I see all the time: former gifted kids who are struggling with anxiety, burnout, procrastination, and motivation... and it turns out a big piece of the puzzle is ADHD that went undiagnosed for years.

Why? Because when you were younger, you could coast on intelligence and external structure. But now that everything is self-directed? The executive function challenges that were always there are suddenly front and center. In school, there was enough support and variety to keep yourself going - you can cram for a midterm or write a ten page paper the night it’s due and get your gold star. Now, you show up to work for a number of hours, and there isn’t a sense of urgency, accomplishment, and dopamine rush to keep your brain engaged. It’s hard to get started or be motivated to do the simplest tasks. You start lagging behind and wondering why you aren’t the superstar everyone expected you to be.

You’re not lazy. You’re not broken. Your brain just might be wired differently—and that wiring deserves support, not shame.

Therapy can help you untangle the gifted kid guilt spiral

This is where therapy comes in—specifically Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which helps identify and shift those stuck patterns, like:

• “If I can’t do it perfectly, I’m failing.”

• “I should have figured this out by now.”

• “Everyone else seems to be doing fine. What’s wrong with me?”

In therapy, we work on setting realistic expectations, building new routines (even for brains that hate structure), and reclaiming your worth from whatever achievement hamster wheel you’ve been stuck on. We dig into the societal expectations and underlying beliefs that are keeping you feeling like you’re not good enough, and build out a healthier way of looking at yourself and the world so you can move forward.

You don’t have to figure this all out alone.

I’m a therapist based in Cincinnati, and I offer online therapy across Ohio and Indiana—so you can show up from your couch, your car, or a conference room. I’ve had people show up on the floor of their closet, or in an empty operating room because that’s the only way they could fit therapy into their day.

If any of this sounds familiar, you’re not the only one. Let’s figure out what’s actually going on under the burnout—and how to build something healthier in its place.

Click here to get started.

Dispelling Myths About Therapy: Insights from Your Trusted Anxiety Therapist in Cincinnati

When you're struggling with anxiety, depression, overwhelm, or burnout, finding help can be intimidating. Even if you know you need help, the process of finding a therapist can be so daunting it prevents you from finding someone. I'm here to bust some common misperceptions about mental health counseling so you can feel more confident in getting the help you need.

Myth 1: Limited Availability of Anxiety Therapists in Cincinnati

There is this idea that we have a shortage of mental health professionals, and not enough therapists to meet the need. However, I know several therapists who have immediate openings. So where does this idea come from?

Limitations in insurance coverage and access can be barriers, which is a problem created by the health insurance industry. That's a story for another day. But it's true if you must use insurance, your search might be more specific. There are still many therapists in network, it's just a matter of finding them. With telehealth, you can access therapists across the state.

If you have out of network benefits or the ability to invest in your treatment, many qualified therapists in Cincinnati do have availability. Unfortunately, we don't have one centralized directory so it can be hard to find them. There are a few online directories, but it seems every couple of years a problem pops up or things change and therapists migrate off of that directory.

So how do you find a counselor in Cincinnati? Search engines can help, so if you are searching for something specific like anxiety therapist in Cincinnati, websites for therapists who specialize in anxiety will pop up. Most of us are online, although there still are a few out there who get referrals from word of mouth without a web presence.

You can also ask friends, family, or medical professionals if they know any good therapists. I always recommend calling a few to do a quick phone consultation and see who you fit best with. And most good therapists can help refer you on if you're looking for something they can't offer, like a specialist. We have networks of therapists we refer out to, and I've never had a problem finding someone with availability.

Myth 2: Therapy is for People with Severe Debilitating Anxiety

Although we've come a long way, there is still a big stigma attached to mental health for many people. Or sometimes we dismiss or invalidate our own struggles, thinking therapy should be reserved for people who are struggling more than we are. But the truth is, even if you are still functioning with anxiety or depression, it doesn't mean you don't deserve help.

Many people come to therapy, or continue on after they get better, to work on personal growth or maintenance of their mental health. Psychotherapy can be super helpful for accountability and working on personal goals. I see many people who are functioning very well on the outside, but can use the support in an objective confidential space to process thoughts and feelings.

Myth 3: Anxiety Therapists Only Engage in Passive Listening

There's this myth from the old days that a psychotherapist will sit silently and take notes while you talk, quietly judging until maybe offering some advice at the end. That is not at all how most therapists work these days. The counseling relationship is collaborative, and you're seen as the expert in your own life. The therapist has had training and experience in helping people along in solving problems or processing feelings, but we are humans too and not any better than anyone else. A good therapist’s first response should be empathy for your struggle, and confidence that you can feel better.

It helps during the consultation to say what you're looking for in therapy. Some people really are needing someone to just listen. Others may want more direction or help with solutions. Therapy should be tailored to what you need, and this might change over time.

Myth 4: Alternative Methods Surpass the Expertise of an Anxiety Therapist in Cincinnati

Going to the gym or talking to friends is just as good as therapy, right? While those things are important and helpful, if you're still struggling then it might be time for therapy. The difference is that in therapy, that time is to only focus on you. Your therapist doesn't need you to reciprocate the friendship, and whatever you do in your life doesn't affect your therapist like it does your friends and family. We also process thoughts and consider different ways of looking at situations, practice new skills, and set specific goals to work towards. So while venting can feel better in the moment, therapy is about change.

The gym is great for coping and to boost your mental health overall, but it's not looking at your patterns in relationships, exploring what changes to make at work, or learning communication skills.

Rapid-fire Myth Busting: Insights from Your Anxiety Therapist in Cincinnati

Will my therapist judge me? If your therapist is judging you, they're not the right one for you. Most of us understand that we're all equally human, and your struggles are often a normal response to trauma or overwhelming stress, and not having enough support or coping skills. It's never a failing on your part.

Will I be in therapy forever? If you come to therapy with specific goals, your therapist should put those in the treatment plan so you can work towards them and plan for ending therapy. While you can choose to be in therapy long-term, if you aren't getting better then this is a conversation to have with your therapist about what else might be contributing and if anything needs to change.

Does going to therapy mean I'm crazy? Again this is stigma. Therapy is for everyone. Your therapist should be in therapy or have done work in therapy. We all have our “stuff.” There can also be a fear of disclosing scary things like intrusive thoughts or suicidal ideation. Any good therapist is going to want you to talk about these things, and understand that they don't make you “crazy.” Your therapist should tell you ahead of time what types of things will trigger something like a hospitalization so you can have informed consent, but also to know that you can be honest so your therapist can help you.

Ready to challenge misconceptions about therapy and reclaim control over your anxiety? Schedule your free 15-minute consultation with an experienced online anxiety therapist in Cincinnati today. Online counseling in Indiana and Ohio. Or call/text 513-461-2045.