Former Gifted Kid Syndrome

Were you a “gifted kid” growing up? School came easily to you, maybe you were in the Gifted and Talented program. You got straight A’s without studying, and were always seen as the “smart” one. Then, at some point in college or after graduation, things fell apart.

So what happened?

Being a gifted kid isn’t inherently traumatic—but the pressure, perfectionism, and praise for your “potential” can turn into a real mess later on.

A lot of former gifted kids grow up believing:

• If I’m not exceptional, I’m failing.

• If it doesn’t come easily, it’s not worth doing.

• If I can’t do it perfectly, why bother at all?

What I see happen when people come to me for therapy is that the tightly structured school environment that kept you organized and on track is gone. The home environment where other people are grocery shopping, keeping laundry going, and setting meal times is gone. The support system that kept things moving along is now hours or states away, and you find yourself unable to do “adult” things and feeling like a failure.

Then “real” adulthood comes along and really kicks the scaffolding out from under you. Now you’re juggling work, bills, relationships, and figuring out what “success” even means. We get to career-level jobs and there’s no longer achievements to constantly work for and measure our success by. We’re working alongside other high achievers, as well as average achievers, and wondering if it all really mattered at all. Shouldn’t I be doing something amazing with all my potential? This feeling can compound with lifelong perfectionism and lead to gnawing anxiety that has no easy solution.

It might not just be anxiety. It could be undiagnosed ADHD.

Here’s something I see all the time: former gifted kids who are struggling with anxiety, burnout, procrastination, and motivation... and it turns out a big piece of the puzzle is ADHD that went undiagnosed for years.

Why? Because when you were younger, you could coast on intelligence and external structure. But now that everything is self-directed? The executive function challenges that were always there are suddenly front and center. In school, there was enough support and variety to keep yourself going - you can cram for a midterm or write a ten page paper the night it’s due and get your gold star. Now, you show up to work for a number of hours, and there isn’t a sense of urgency, accomplishment, and dopamine rush to keep your brain engaged. It’s hard to get started or be motivated to do the simplest tasks. You start lagging behind and wondering why you aren’t the superstar everyone expected you to be.

You’re not lazy. You’re not broken. Your brain just might be wired differently—and that wiring deserves support, not shame.

Therapy can help you untangle the gifted kid guilt spiral

This is where therapy comes in—specifically Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which helps identify and shift those stuck patterns, like:

• “If I can’t do it perfectly, I’m failing.”

• “I should have figured this out by now.”

• “Everyone else seems to be doing fine. What’s wrong with me?”

In therapy, we work on setting realistic expectations, building new routines (even for brains that hate structure), and reclaiming your worth from whatever achievement hamster wheel you’ve been stuck on. We dig into the societal expectations and underlying beliefs that are keeping you feeling like you’re not good enough, and build out a healthier way of looking at yourself and the world so you can move forward.

You don’t have to figure this all out alone.

I’m a therapist based in Cincinnati, and I offer online therapy across Ohio and Indiana—so you can show up from your couch, your car, or a conference room. I’ve had people show up on the floor of their closet, or in an empty operating room because that’s the only way they could fit therapy into their day.

If any of this sounds familiar, you’re not the only one. Let’s figure out what’s actually going on under the burnout—and how to build something healthier in its place.

Click here to get started.