The Mental Health Impact of Being Labeled “Gifted” as a Child
As an anxiety therapist in Cincinnati, I work with many adults who are intelligent, capable, and outwardly successful—and quietly overwhelmed. A surprising number of them were labeled “gifted” as children.
They were the smart one.
The kid with “so much potential.”
The one teachers relied on and adults expected to excel.
Now, years later, many of these same people struggle with chronic anxiety, perfectionism, burnout, and a shaky sense of identity. Not because they aren’t capable—but because the gifted label shaped how they learned to see themselves.
When “Gifted” Becomes an Identity Instead of a Trait
One of the most common themes I hear in therapy is this: being gifted stopped being something they had and became who they were.
Instead of:
“I’m a person who’s good at learning”
It became:
“I’m the smart one—and that’s what makes me valuable.”
When intelligence becomes the core of identity, mistakes don’t feel neutral. They feel threatening. Struggle feels like failure. And anything that challenges the “smart” identity can trigger intense anxiety.
Many adults I work with say things like:
“If I’m not excelling, who am I?”
“I feel like I’m wasting my potential.”
“I don’t know what I actually want—I just followed what I was good at.”
Over time, this can lead to anxiety, indecision, and a deep fear of getting it wrong.
The Pressure to Always Excel—and Never Struggle
Gifted children are often praised for outcomes rather than effort:
“You’re so smart.”
“This comes easily to you.”
“You’ll do great things.”
While well-intentioned, this teaches a subtle lesson: struggle is a problem.
As adults, this often shows up as:
Avoiding challenges they might not immediately excel at
Procrastination driven by fear of failure
Anxiety around feedback, evaluations, or being “seen”
Feeling like rest must be earned through productivity
Many gifted adults don’t struggle because they lack ability—they struggle because their self-worth became conditional.
When There’s No Room to Try Things “Just for Fun”
Another overlooked impact of the gifted label is how it limits exploration.
Many gifted children don’t get to try hobbies just to enjoy them. There’s often an unspoken expectation that if they try something—music, sports, art—they should be good at it.
As adults, this can look like:
Avoiding hobbies unless there’s a chance to excel
Turning enjoyable activities into performance
Feeling embarrassed being a beginner
Not knowing what they actually enjoy outside of achievement
In therapy, clients often realize they never developed other parts of their identity because their energy went into maintaining the “smart” role. Relearning how to play, experiment, and do things imperfectly can feel surprisingly uncomfortable—and deeply healing.
Competition in Gifted Programs and Its Impact on Relationships
Many gifted adults also describe how being placed in gifted programs changed how they related to peers.
Instead of feeling exceptional, they suddenly became one of many smart kids. This often introduced:
Constant comparison
Pressure to prove intelligence
Fear of falling behind
Difficulty forming relaxed, authentic connections
Some learned early that relationships were competitive rather than safe.
As adults, this can contribute to:
Social anxiety
Difficulty trusting peers or colleagues
Feeling “behind” despite success
A tendency to compare themselves harshly to others
In high-achieving environments—academia, tech, healthcare, corporate roles—these patterns often intensify rather than fade.
Perfectionism as an Anxiety Strategy
Perfectionism is one of the most common reasons gifted adults seek anxiety therapy.
Perfectionism isn’t about high standards—it’s about fear. Fear of being exposed. Fear of disappointing others. Fear of losing identity.
I often tell clients that perfectionism is an anxiety management strategy: “If I do everything right, I’ll be safe.”
But that strategy comes at a cost:
Chronic stress
Burnout
Difficulty enjoying success
Harsh inner criticism
Emotional exhaustion
Because gifted adults are often high-functioning, these struggles can remain hidden for years.
The Grief of “Unmet Potential”
Another theme that shows up frequently in therapy is grief—not over failure, but over expectations.
Many gifted adults feel haunted by an invisible measuring stick:
The career they should have
The success they could have achieved
The version of themselves everyone expected
Even when life is objectively good, there’s often a persistent sense of falling short.
Therapy often involves separating who you are from who you were expected to become.
Healing and Rebuilding Identity as a Gifted Adult
Working with an anxiety therapist—especially through cognitive behavioral therapy—can help gifted adults untangle these patterns.
In therapy, we often focus on:
Developing identity beyond intelligence and achievement
Learning to tolerate being a beginner
Reframing mistakes as information, not evidence
Reducing anxiety-driven perfectionism
Building self-worth that isn’t performance-based
This work can feel challenging, especially for people who are used to thinking their way through problems. But it’s also deeply relieving.
You Are More Than the “Smart One”
If you were labeled gifted as a child and now struggle with anxiety, perfectionism, or burnout, you’re not broken—and you’re not alone.
The traits that helped you succeed early in life may simply need recalibration now.
You are allowed to:
Be complex
Change directions
Enjoy things without excelling
Define your worth on your own terms
If you’re looking for anxiety therapy in Cincinnati and recognize yourself in these patterns, working with a therapist who understands giftedness, perfectionism, and high-functioning anxiety can make a meaningful difference. Click here to schedule a consult.
